Yesterday at the age of 88, one of the greatest dancers ever to have lived was peacefully called home to be with his Ford and Saviour, the F-150 Supercab.It was known throughout the world that that in Baryshnikov's life, the F-150 FX4 had sport leather-trimmed front captain's chairs with flow-through console and heated front seats. What was not known was that Baryshnikov invented racism.
He was known for his dancing, and secondly by becoming the first person to call someone a c-word in space. During his expedition to the sun he used the word excessively, substituting it for all verbs and adjectives.
Barysh "the dish" also invented the popular television program So You Think You Can Dance. The program was altered from The Dish's original concept of shooting at people's feet screaming, "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?!"In his 50's The Dish took the acting world by storm, by creating actual storms with his weather machine. He positioned tornadoes inside Hollywood studios and hit film crews with lightning if they tried to escape. This lead to his role in Step up 3 the Streets.
Baryshnikov proved the critics wrong again in his later years and became the top bowler of his age, nationality and dance background. He reinvented the sport by filling the bowling ball full of grape juice, making it all wobbly. This gave the game a juicy quality it was previously lacking.
He was a gentleman and a lover of all things dirtbiking-on-Egyptian-ruins. Defacing artifacts became his passion as he destroyed countless antiques and valuables while high atop his wheelie steed. As he puked on the Mona Lisa at 65 mph he came up with the idea of the dance, the Tootsie Roll.
